Thursday, November 15, 2012

BEING CAREFUL WITH OUR WISHES

Omoja's father was very happy when his son came to him to announce to him that he had found a young woman he would love to marry. Pleasure and satisfaction registered on Omoja's father's face. He rubbed his chest as his face beamed in joy, "you are a true chip of the old stock. The spirit of the father is upon the son," he said.. He pulled out his right arm offering Omoja a congratulatory hand shake. All the marriage arrangements and rites were performed and, Kami and Omoja became husband and wife.

The door of child bearing was open. They had two children, a boy and a girl.  They were named Kach and Bome. Omoja's father's joy new no bounds, as his two grand children would call him on the telephone to chat, coming over from time to time to spend weekend with their grandparents. Sometimes Bome the first child would ask grandpa to carry her on his back, and grand-pa do that with joy. Kach the second child would get jealous, "grandpa back me, I am the baby of the house, put Bome down." "But none of you is a baby anymore, Bome is four years old now and Kach you are two and half years old, so you are no babies any longer. Once, Dima, omoja's father and his wife had a wedding invitation, they went with Bome and kach their grand children. In the church Dima sat alone glaring round the alter. Kach sat next to grandpa. Suddenly he came down from the bench and went straight to grandma where she was busy chatting with friends, pulled her hand, took her straight to where grandpa was sitting and made her sit next to her husband. All around burst into laughter at the little boy's great sense of occasion. Tears welled up in grandpa's eyes, "I am grateful to God of all creations that I live to witness this great joy. Life is meaningful. Dima was a happy grandfather.

It was not a planned occasion but it looked like one. As Omoja stepped into the house, the aroma of the food  being cooked in the kitchen stirred the appetite in him. His state of mind was worsened and it was read on his face. His father showed concern, "what is the matter with you Omoja, you are not happy?" I am not happy Dad because I have a problem that has really bothered me so much. Can you believe I have been eating out most of the time. She does not like entering the kitchen; you can understand what it means coming back from work and having the food aroma emanating from the kitchen reminded me of the good cooking we use to enjoy. Dad you know that is what really makes a home. I supposed asked her not to work so that she could take care of the house and even teach my children the knowledge's they ought to have. But with this my children will grow to be eating out and snaking; no, that is no home, that is no life. I need a domesticated young woman who will take care of my family. When the children are of age she can start up some business of work. I can even send my children to you mum so they can learn all that they need to learn and know. She has nothing to offer," tapping his toes on the floor. "But she has something to offer" if you mean a come over, let them all come over, my wife can coach her even the children. Do not worry it shall be well," his father said.

The matter was made known to Omoja's mother, and she spoke peaceably towards sustenance of the marriage. They had the sumptuous launch before Omoja left. Dima and his wife had decided to bring the priest who wedded them into the matter.

Before the priest, Dima and his family were present. After presenting the issue and narrations, the priest tried to intervene he preached and admonished Evi. Then turned to Omoja, "You see, are bound to live in love; Love is tolerance, understanding, endurance and all the factors that effect peace" gently but emphatically, "Yes, but not bound to live in agony. She must cook good for me; she has to play her part because I run my own department of this sacred institution with great sense of responsibility and love" when Omoja's mother perceived the extent her son meant quits to the marriage, she opted to take Evi and the children to stay with her domestic impartation. Then she advised Evi to tender apology to her husband for her domestic incompetence she fearlessly linked it to poor domestic training. She pointed out that her female children do not have such cases in their respective marital homes. She promised, "I will do my best to restore peace, let them stay with me for some time, then come back to stay with you; let's watch for a difference. You can always drive to my house and take food and put in your fridge to take care of yourself". But Evi found it hard to tender apology which Omoja did not find funny; he reacted, "Dad this is wahala and not Marriage!" "Evi you must apologize to your husband; say you are willing to learn else I will take my hands off this matter," the priest stressed. Evi apologized, and the matter ended.

They thanked the priest who mediated, and the priest also praised Omoja's mother who offered a peace measure. At home, Omoja and his father sat under a tree shade in the compound. Omoja recalled the issue. "Dad I unrepentantly say that this institution called marriage is "Wahala", still do not think I can cope. Did you see how difficult it was for Evi to say she sorry for her shortcomings and domestic competence, even when she should be ashamed of herself. Aren't women devils?" Noo, Omoja do not say so, take that notion of your mind.

It is a great experience to every man; that is the real test of manhood. The people who sang the song that said "To be a man na waao! That is what it takes to be a man. You married her to be help mate, companion, home manager and all the good. Most of all to bear children for you, so I will advise you to call it treasure instead. You know the bud stage of flowering of a plant produces bitter taste but sweet is the flower itself. You are at the bud stage; you just began. The great artist of humanity had a good purpose. Human creation was a good job, but a better job by creating a woman. That is why they are celebrated by way of Wedding, wedding anniversaries etc.

You have to close your eyes at some of her short coming; mind you marriage is not so sweet but somehow it is the best. Women are like elephants and we men are the undaunted hunters having our great purpose. The purpose is to raise family. Nothing good comes so easy. We live to face challenges with optimism. Women are like parcels; you can never know the content well until you open it up and you will find mixed fruits; some are sweet, sour, salty or alkaline etc, all you must do is mount eagle strength to be challenge... Now I will tell you, Adam never knew the devil, spoke with him or had any problem until he became espoused to Eve, the woman God gave to him to render him help".

Dima also told Omoja his son a story about a people called Oka. He began his story, "the Oka people are located in the South-Eastern Part of Nigeria. They were inventive, creative, and proficient black smiths with great expertise. They were great mysteries in metal work even before the coming of their colonial masters, the British. They were aristocrats of art and crafts. They fashioned hunting tools of special skills with which they hunted elephants.

This Oka people hunted elephants profoundly. They were aggressive elephant hunters. One outside their environment would think they had so much interest on the meat, no, but the "Tusk" because of its commercial value during their commercial activities with the British and Northern Nigeria.The elephant tusk, the treasure of its all. So essence of the elephant hunt is the "Tusk". The essence of the whole stress of marriage as an institution is to raise family and replenish the earth which was the original purpose.

Omoja really had a better understanding of marriage than before the troubles of it came. After two months of Evi's stay with her mother in-law she became a brand new women. She could cook different kinds of delicacy, house-keeping became of great essence to her. Her mother-in-law also told her stories how she raised her daughters; assigned chores to them, made them aprons, made them make confections at weekends and confection exhibitions on the dining table. That there was always a winner, and that the winner takes the prize. That when they are baking they were extremely careful because all of them targeted at the price. That was how they saw all chores as just duty and fun, and not stress. So story and practical made a great impact on Evi's domestic life. So essence of the elephant hunting was achieved even in a good form..

© Nkiruka Irene Molokwu

Nkiruka Irene Molokwu is a seasoned playwright, novelist, children literature writer and a teacher. She is a virtuous woman who has the passion to make life better for all and sundry. Some of her works can be seen in her website http://afribooks.org

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